5 Parenting Takeaways from QLM

The Quantum Leap Mastermind created by Hal Elrod and Jon Berghoff met March 20-23, 2017 in Austin, TX. I was in a room full of my favorite people for three days of learning, reflection, connection and fun times. I love these mastermind meetings because I walk away refreshed and with a sense of clarity. This meeting was no different and, as usual, Jon and Hal outdid themselves. The speaker line up this time included Mike Dillard of the Self Made Man Podcast, the author of Wealth Can't Wait, David Osborn, New York Bestselling authors Jay Papasan and Tucker Max, Mindfulness expert Julianna Raye and of course Jon Berghoff and Hal Elrod all dropping massive value. I certainly learned a lot about being an author from these powerhouses, but my number one priority in life is to be a great mom, so I made a list of my top 7 takeaways as a parent.

  1. The S.A.V.E. Principle- Hal was thankfully healthy enough to join us and he dropped some major knowledge about what he is learning since his cancer diagnosis. Hal listed four things he deems most important in his life: Perspective, Relationships, Love, and Freedom. In order to have the best relationships, he says we must schedule the time to S.A.V.E. them. S.A.V.E. is an acronym for Selflessly Add Value Everyday. How many of us say our family is most important to us, but when you look at your calendar work obligations fill it to the brim? We have to get intentional about showing up for those we love. Our family Miracle Morning time has produced some of the most memorable moments with my children. Just this morning, Tyler came down to the kitchen as I was about to start my meditation and he climbed up in my lap to do it with me. How can you add value to your family today?
  2. Solve Your Own Problems First- Mike Dillard shared with us that his most successful endeavors were when he sought to solve his own problem first and then taught others how to do the same. I think this is a great parenting lesson too. If we as adults are a mess, we can't expect our kids to have it all together. We have to find what works for us, implement it and then teach. Our kids will overwhelmingly follow our example over our words, so let's do the work to live our best lives to encourage our kids to do the same. 
  3. "It's hard to be an eagle when you're surrounded by ducks."- Both David Osborn and Hal Elrod talked to us about the importance of our social circle. If your family is hanging out with other families that stop by the fast food drive-thru on the way to a movie, your family will think that is the norm. In contrast, if you're hanging out with families that thoughtfully packed a picnic lunch before heading to the river to swim and kayak, your family will think that to be the norm. Find the families that are living the life you want to live and start doing the things they are doing. People are like clay and we become like those around us. We have the choice to surround ourselves with people who lift us up or those that tear us down. Seek out those positive environments. A great place to start is our Facebook Community
  4. Equip your kids to Give- Jay Papasan taught on a passion of his, which is giving. He identified three reasons people don't give: they lack an abundance mindset, they have never experienced the joy of giving or they don't think their contribution is big enough to matter. He also told us that in the US the top 10% of wealthy people give only 25% of the total. This statistic proves that no amount of giving is too small! He also gave us a framework for giving. If you have little, start with simply giving gratitude. This is an easy one for kids. Ask them, "was anyone kind to you today?" If they answer yes, have them write that person a short note of gratitude. The next step up is to give time. This may require a little research, but there are many organizations that allow children to do this with a parent. Last year, Tyler and I volunteered with Cradles to Crayons. We spent several hours cleaning used shoes to make them look like new. It was a great bonding experience, it felt good and we had fun doing it. The next level is to give money. Our kids get an allowance each week and 20% is automatically placed in their "give jar." As opportunities present themselves throughout the year, the kids can contribute money from their give jars. The last two levels are once you have become successful and want to give back in bigger ways. Then you can give leadership as a board member to a non-profit and finally give wealth by setting up a foundation. 
  5. Your relationship with Your children is different from any other- This lesson surprisingly came from Tucker Max, author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (note: the video below has some adult language). He astutely observed that the relationship with your children is distinctly different from any other relationship. Our children mirror back to us both our strengths and weaknesses. We can fail in many other relationships in our lives, but our kids make us want to be better. We can hide and lie in most relationships, but it is very hard to do with our kids. They are constantly watching to see how we respond and learning from our reactions. As Dr. Shefali says, "Our children may be small and powerless in terms of living independent lives but they are mighty in their potential to be our life’s greatest awakeners." Tucker vulnerably shared that something he is most proud of is getting past some of his emotional issues to have the loving relationship he now has with his wife and kids.

I'm grateful for the friendships new and old I've developed through QLM. I'm grateful for the speakers and their vulnerability in sharing their lessons with us. I'm grateful for the vitamin D I soaked up while in Austin and for our good friends for allowing us to stay in their beautiful lake house while we were visiting. I'd love to hear from you. The best place to find me is in our Facebook Community. Please join the conversation there :)

In Gratitude,